My Epitaph

If you don't question everything, you will know nothing and believe anything!

Sunday, May 5, 2013

God Bless Science

God Bless Science!!! It is too late for us, but if we socialized girls into this knowledge on how to naturally reduce the risks of breast cancer, not only could we radically reduce the risks of breast cancer, but gender relations would greatly improve if Dr Helena Shifteer's preventive regime were followed. All wars might end if every woman alive were brought up with this knowledge on how to save her breasts from malignant tumors!  Population numbers would be more easily controlled because women would only allow their breasts to be threatened in they were intending on trying to conceive (and the guys wouldn't complain about pulling out at the last second, either)!

"Only with regular occurrence will your chances be reduced, so I encourage all women out there to make fellatio an important part of their daily routine,” said Dr. Helena Shifteer, one of the researchers at the University. “Since the emergence of the research, I try to fellate at least once every other night to reduce my chances.”


"Based on this report, I think all women should use their natural fear of breast-cancer as a motivation to suck cock and swallow. To those women out there who not only loathe giving blow jobs—because it makes them gag or feel violated or is an act of forced submission—but also hate swallowing cum, because of how it tastes or what it represents, well NO PRESSURE. The article also admits, quietly, at the end of paragraph three, that, “There was no increased risk…for those who did not regularly perform.” I mean, we’re just saying giving regular blow jobs and swallowing semen might save your life, or prevent your breasts from having to be surgically removed or the horrific experience of radiation and chemotherapy. But seriously, no pressure." 

Thank you Mindy for bringing this to my attention, but I do agree there should not be any pressure on a woman to save herself from breast cancer.  

Could you imagine what type of participant events this data could inspire that could replace the annual "Run for the Cure"? If you want to bring real awareness about how to reduce the odds of breast cancer, especially where every male in the city will show up to support the cause, stage the annual "Why Run for a Cure when you can Swallow to Prevent Breast Cancer Awareness" events in every city. If Dr Shifteer's regime is the minimal preventive treatment, the weekends just might need to turn into Breast Cancer Preventative Awareness Weekends.

I would love to see Breast Cancer Awareness shirts for women that state "These Breasts Protected by Swallowing" stretched across their chests.  Especially on little spaghetti strap summer tops.  A shirt like that would bring a man's eyes back to the face, even if he was looking at the lips instead of the eyes.  What shirt would made a woman smile sexily every time a man reads it?
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